Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

I was tired of fighting.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

It’s still here.

Why should the US public listen to Lauren Boebert, the queen of hypocrisy tell us, "We need morals back in our nation" when her real-time video is the heartbeat of immoral? Why does her audio not match her video?

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

Be who you already are.

You are like me, then.

Can you share 100 facts about yourself?

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

I had run out of hope.

Why do guys look up TikTok girls instead of porn? My boyfriend of two years, looks up big boobs on TikTok. He has never once cheated on me, not on social media or IRL. He claims it’s to “get off real quick if I’m not home.”

And the sadness?

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

How has your life changed for the past 10 years? Can you share your #10year challenge? Is your life better, worse, or still hopeful?

The sadness was still there.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

Can I fix a fridge leak myself, or should I call a pro?

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

What is the difference between anxiety and depressive neurosis?

I was tired of trying and failing.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

How can I get over a break up?

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

How would you feel about your husband allowing a mutual friend to see you naked and exposed to show off your pussy?

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

It’s here now, writing to you.

Is it possible to achieve spiritual enlightenment while being in a romantic relationship?

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.